Looking Back

For just one day, well okay really one week, I allowed myself to feel the greif of moving, of leaving the place where I have been or been very close to for all of my 33 years.

I voiced the worries over the overwhelmingness of moving; of moving with a tiny baby; of moving while homeschooling; of moving away from our family support; of sorting or packing one more thing; of living out of suitcases for weeks.

I allowed myself to mourn the familiar; to know how comforting is is to drive on familiar roads, where I instinctively arrive at the expected destination; to pass expected landmarks where memories have been made since childhood; to let the memories on each corner flood in and sink into each moment.

I said yes to each offer of help from family and friends.  Each time knowing that these helping hands will be too far away very soon.

I allowed myself to check the rearview mirror.  To look back.  To feel the wight of the memories and the loss of not seeing them in every corner.

And as Lydia and I drove away from our house after the last box had been packed and loaded, I let the huge crocodile tears come flooding. Our home of eight years.  The home where we have brought each of our babies.  Where were have grown from a family of two to a family of six.  Where evenings were spent pacing a fussy baby.  Where first steps were taken.  Where birthdays, Christmases and anniversaries have been celebrated. Where first words were understood, spoken, read and written.  Where we returned to the safety and familiarity of after each summer in California.

I am incredibly excited about the future and where we are headed, but it's admitting that this is hard and it is ok to let the sadness have a voice and a moment, knowing that it every bit of it has led us to the moments to come.

A (very good) Day in the Life

I want to remember snapshots of our moments, hours and days during these crazy and overwhelming little years. So here are the highlights of our yesterday(s).

Baby girl only woke up twice the night before and was easy to settle each time.  I got up with the boys at 8:15 (although I think they actually had been awake for a bit longer and mercifully left us alone but, you know, they got hungry) and prayed Lydia would stay asleep long enough for me to grab a shower.



Turns out she was quite comfortable and I was able to shower, eat breakfast, conquer much of our school work and get the boys dressed. Boom.

Then our lovely maid service showed up...enough said.

My goal was for us to be ready to head out the door at 9.  Here is a picture of us leaving at 11. That's about right.  Also, baby girl is screaming, because of being in the torture chamber and all.  To say she doesn't like her carseat is an understatement.



We headed out to the park.  The boys ran and ran and and ran.  We talked about the swiftly moving in gray clouds, which only made us want to enjoy this time even more.  LJ and I watched carefully and soaked up the fresh air. Also - baby toes!



We made a quick trip to target that didn't involve any crying or (shockingly) overspending. And  - both brothers holding baby brother's hands - I die.



We made it home for a quick lunch and Baby Girl crashed for an amazing nap after her adventures and time in the torturous carseat.



None of the boys napped, but we were able to finish up school and (of course) build with Legos.

We picked up our dear friend Hannah who doesn't scare easily and we headed to Earth Fare for the kids eat free Thursday.  For $7 and a clean kitchen bonus the family was fed and of course the store got their money by mommy "picking up a few things while we are here."

The boys got settled in for the evening and LJ and I discussed the day and how awesome it will be when we all sleep through the night. She was less convenced, and I have to admit she made a strong case for our alone time. Also, making chinssssss look good since 2013.



And then all the little ones in this house gave into the sleep for the evening, and so did I.

PS - In the interest of keeping things real:  The day before yesterday we didn't leave he house, nor did I shower.  Yesterday Walker mentioned over and over how much happier Lydia was today than the day before. I quote, "She has been much happier and not cried that much." And we all say *whew* (because remembering the good days makes the harder days that much more enjoyable).

Finding a House to Make Our Home

(the view from our new street)

There is much catching up to do, many blog post written in my head, and hundreds of darling baby pictures to share, and they will come.  But for now, the story of the next giant step in our lives.

Very shortly we will be making the permanent move to California.  We will be south of San Francisco in San Mateo.  This is near the area we have spent the past two summers and where Jason's company has their West Coast office.

Last summer when Jason and MongoHQ were successful at raising funding we knew we would be making the move.  We also knew little Miss Lydia was on her way.  For my transition, the boys transition and our family as whole I felt it would be better to have a baby here in our comfortable supportive environment.  Jason agreed, and while it has been hard on him and there has been much travel we are grateful we were able to stay for this time.

But after her birth and subsequent settling in as a family of four we knew it was time to make the preparations for the big move.

The real estate market moves so quickly in the area there was not an opportunity to watch the market for months and find just the right place.  Things come on the market and you have to move immediately or they are gone.  Like within 48 hours stuff goes on the market and is leased (well the stuff you want, anyway).  The original plan was for Jason to go out and find a place on his own after Lydia was a month old.  While not ideal, I completely trusted him to find the right place.

The opportunity arose for both sets of grandparents to watch the boys over a four day period. We decided we couldn't let this opportunity pass, so we quickly bought tickets, wrapped up Lydia in the ring sling and prayed our way to California in hopes of finding us a home.



Our landlord from the first summer we were in California helped us by wading through craigslist, setting up showings, fielding phone calls and going with us as a representative.  She was a huge blessing to have in this crazy time of trying to work everything out so quickly.

We saw several properties that were not the one.  Lydia was quite the trooper considering how much she hates her carseat.

(I said she was a trooper, not that she enjoyed it)

Then on the second day we found ourselves, surprisingly, with two options that would both work but with very different advantages.  One was very nicely done on the inside, convenient to everything including Jason's office, and more in line with what we had hoped to find in our California home.  The second was huge, had nearby playgrounds and was straight out of 1983.

We applied for both.  Jason and I were both really torn about which would be the best choice, but we felt confident we could be happy in either.

The owners of the first home, two darling sisters, met us and talked with us about some of the backyard concerns we had.  They wanted to rent to us (no small thing with 4 children in the mix) and we felt confident they would be good landlords.  Both of us knew this was the right choice.  A lease was signed, a check given, hugs exchanged and now we had a destination for our big move...and a timeline.



The Lord cares so much about our details.  I texted my girls that I was feeling a bit down about their not being a park close enough to walk to with big open green spaces.


And in the moment Kristine was sending me this message and praying we found a huge park with fields, playground equipment and bustling families a half mile from the house.  How loving is our God?  He has provided and encouraged each step of the way, and I am confident he will  not step away now.

There is still much preparation and planning to be done before we can take this big step, but we hope to be out there by mid may.

It is a bittersweet time in our family and prayers are appreciated.  We are excited about the move and all the opportunity but are sad about leaving our family and friends whom we love so dearly.

And for those interested here is a bit of a walking tour.  It is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath home.  The master bed and bath are not in the video, so just think small.  It is a bit smaller than our current home, but we are hoping this will encourage us to do some serious downsizing.


We love you all...and on to the next adventure!

Look Alikes

Walker, Eli and Colin all looked very different to me when they were tiny babies.

Not so with Miss Lydia. The instant she was born I was surprised by how much she looked like Walker.

What do you think?

Lydia

Walker


Lydia


Walker


Who knew Walker would make such a pretty girl?

I asked Walker if we could put a brown wig on him so we can see what Lydia will look like when she is seven, but he declined. forcefully.  I suppose we will all just have to wait.

For reference:

Eli


Colin

Eli's Sixth

These gloriously wonderful moments of celebration keep clicking by and on this one we celebrated our precious Eli turning six.



There were wishes and presents and cake and singing and playing and loving being together as a family.





The evening begin with a shopping trip to spend the birthday money burning a hole in his pocket and fulfilling his wish of having a milkshake for (after) dinner at Steak and Shake.

One day is never enough, but how I do love celebrating our sweet, handsome, kind and loving and (for the briefest of moment in time) six year old charmer.

Visiting Lydia

We just can't keep the crowds away.  And that is more than fine because we think she is pretty special.





















Baby available for holding a snuggling most daylight hours and a few middle of the night hours as well.  Let us know if you want a reservation.

Overwhelmed

I have been beyond blessed by our dear family and friends over the first few weeks of Lydia's life.  I have been given the opportunity to just be with my baby girl, which is no small feat with baby number four.

There have been meals and childcare and daytime naps and washed laundry and desserts and time to enjoy these fleeting moments of tiny babyhood.  Each night when I look at her I feel the pressing reality that she will never be smaller than she is in this moment.  It makes the support I have received that much sweeter.

And the biggest support has been Jason who now has three busy boys to care for on a much more full time basis while baby girl is much more inclined to mommy. {He is so good at it}

These first few weeks have been a blessing I will forever be grateful for.



Last week we did attempt to start back our school routine and overall it went very well.  The boys were amazingly flexible to work around little sister's feeding and napping schedule, and my ring sling is my best friend.



It is a bit different from when Colin was little.  Now it isn't about getting the baby settled so I can take a shower or brush my teeth.  It's get the baby settled and plow through as much school as allowed.  I wouldn't have it any other way, but it is becoming apparent that there is going to have to be a bit more planning (and less sleep) if I am to wash my hair and stuff.

The routine feels nice and I am excited for us to puzzle together meeting everyone's needs and enjoying our days as a family of six.

{It helps immensely that these boys love her too the moon and back.}